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She Was

20 Jul

She was the child who stood against the wall on the playground, quietly watching, but never participating.  So much was seen, but so little experienced.  She did not understand their games.

She was the child who choked when called on in class.  The words would not come out.  All of the other children laughed.

She was attacked by their noises, their movements, the darkness, and the light.  She could not filter out what they seemed not to notice.  She battled within, and they never knew.

She was the child the teachers could not reach.  She did not act out, but she also was not heard.  She was the child they overlooked.

She was the one who, when invited to birthday parties, walked quietly with the adults.  She felt out of place.  She was the one they stopped inviting.

She was the child being abused at home.  Being told she was no good.  Being told she owed for her very existence.  Being molested again and again from the one who should have protected her.  She was the child learning not to trust.  She was the child who did not speak, and suffered in silence.

She was the fearful, the lost, the abandoned, crying each night in her room because she did not belong.  She was the one begging to be taken from the world.  To be taken home.

She was the child who never stood, dressed, or acted quite right.  She was the one they made fun of because her facial expressions were strange.  She was the one they feared because she did not speak.

She was the one lost in her own world, lost in a fantasy that they could not penetrate.  She felt safe there.

She was the one who spoke to the animals, whose best friend was a dog, but who could not connect to other people.

She was the little sister who followed her brother everywhere, and did what he did because he seemed to know what he was doing.

She was the one thought shy or rude because she could not speak when they spoke to her.

She was the child in trouble for staring.  Maybe they interested her.  Maybe she didn’t see them at all.  She was the one who didn’t know where her eyes should look.

She was the one thought to be normal because she didn’t cause much trouble.  The one forgotten when her younger brother had so many health, behavioural, and intellectual difficulties.  She got by.

She was the one they thought was okay – but they were wrong.

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2 responses to “She Was

  1. wotsbooks

    September 19, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    I’m hoping this wasn’t autobiographical though I think it may be and if that’s the case then I’m sorry.

    Like

     
  2. wotsbooks

    September 19, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Your honesty in your blogs is refreshing

    Like

     

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