Dolls and stuffed animals are among the possessions that I have collected throughout my life. It isn’t that I collect any that I see, or spend a lot of money on this collection, but the ones I have kept are very important to me.
While I know that many adult women collect and display dolls and stuffed animals, I believe there is something in this specific to my autism which should be shared.
Although other women collect dolls, I tend to personify the dolls and stuffed animals I have. While it may look the same from the outside, many people do not know that when I accidentally drop one of them (such as the ones on my bed when I am sleeping) I will apologize to them for it. If I make clothes for one, or move another to a better spot, I will feel like the others feel left out.
The thought of using one of them to make a craft, such as by cutting parts off, fills me with disgust as if they were a live creature. To see other people tossing them around, or pretending to beat them up, leaves me wondering about the character of that person.
I do know that such things are not real, I do see that reality, but I cannot get past these thoughts that lead me to treat them as if they were real.