My husband and I are considering a move at this time. We have been in this house nearly 12 years, and a lot has happened in those years. The reason for this consideration is to lower our monthly bills, and possibly pay off our mortgage, as I am no longer working.
I think that my enthusiasm in this direction is much higher than my husbands. Change such as this seems to energize me. At the same time, I have a lot of fear over that very change.
This house holds a lot of pain over the losses I have suffered here – but also the memories of those I never wanted to lose. Could I get those years back and erase the pain if we move away? No. I need Heaven, maybe, for that.
Would moving away tear at old wounds and make me feel like I was losing them all over again – my children and my pets? Sometimes I think that it might.
Would a new start, though, help me to let go of those pains and failures that I know I am holding on to? Would I be able to move forward and find a place to belong? That thought makes me restless, and keeps bringing me back to this point of longing for change.
I am not home yet.
Maybe it won’t matter what I think or plan. The fourth of the lunar eclipses falls over Jerusalem during the Feast of Tabernacles this month. This year, from what I have heard, is the start of the Jewish Shemitah year and the year of Jubilee. Israel is surrounded by its enemies – yet the Jewish people are flocking home in large numbers.
North America has turned from God, and immorality is prevalent. The church grows drowsy – it is tiring to stand strong in this culture. Canada and the U.S. Are about to vote in new leaders, and the world economy is on the verge of collapse.
There is word of a world government. The Islamic religion is multiplying, and its terrorists hold the world in such fear that we allow children and other refugees to drown in their attempt at escape from war torn Syria because of the fear of invasion.
I want to make note that I am not anti any person. I think we need to take the refugees in, and not repeat history such as when the Jewish people were fleeing Europe, and other countries refused to take them in. I think all people should have a chance… these are just events I have been watching, and wondering what they mean.
For many years I have held a fascination with end times prophecies. Perhaps because I have been longing for “home” my entire life – and these theories remind me that this world isn’t forever, and help me to hold on a little longer.
While others may fear, ignore, or deny such theories, they have been a source of comfort for me. I do not claim to know the truth in these things, but I enjoy considering it.
It seems to me that it is time to wake up. I watch the news and often think, the end may be near, and we don’t know what is coming. I am not afraid – just thoughtful.
These plans of mine, therefore, might not matter in the days to come – but I make them anyway because I don’t know what is coming, or how long it will take to get here. Meanwhile we must all try to live the best we can.
I care what people think, but I must be who I am. Please don’t take these words of mine as hate for groups of people, that is not how I work – I hate no one like I do myself, and I am even working on that.