Reality Seeps In

16 Sep

It was a beautiful two acres of property. Quiet, and filled with peace and inspiration. The land was just across the highway from the lake, and contained many usable outbuildings filled with interesting artifacts from days past. Behind was 60 acres of woodland.

There was a garden, left unattended for years, but it wouldn’t take much to bring it back to life. Fruit trees, and a clean well with good drinking water. The home was heated by a wood stove, and cooking was done on a wood cook stove. Both had been recently replaced.

It was a dream. But all dreams must lead back to reality, and this was no different. The house was old. Very old. The character was exciting – like walking through a museum – but the reality was a lot of work, and a lot of money to make the home livable.

Much as I loved the house – and I really did – even I must admit it would be easier, and likely cheaper, to tear it down and build new. A bat infestation in the attic, asbestos throughout. The wiring and plumbing all in need of upgrading. The windows, siding, and floors in serious need of replacement.

To have the screened in porch facing the garden and trees… to have that sun room, and all of the windows in the house giving light for growing indoor plants… to have all of that privacy, the comfort of the wood heat, a quiet part of the lake to swim in the summer… all of that was a dream.

I know that I would have been inspired in my writing there. I know, once all was done, I would find peace and calm there. But perhaps it was never meant to be. In reality, I know we couldn’t afford it. The selling price was less than our current house is worth, but more than I was hoping to spend for a fully renovated house. The cost to renovate, however, would be way beyond our means and skills.

My desire was to simplify life… back to the basics – lots to do, but little reason to go anywhere else. Peace, calm, and inspiration. But I know the first part of simplifying my life at this time comes to lowering my expenses, and unless some miracle comes to make this a possibility, I have to let it go.

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Posted by on September 16, 2015 in Autism: Reality


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