Something had to be done. It isn’t like I had a choice. My husband is working, and as the only one of us with a job at this time, I couldn’t ask him to take time off. So although I haven’t driven in two months, as I have been so dizzy since his holidays ended (during which time he did all the driving) I had to find some way to ensure I could drive tomorrow.
My son has his first appointment with his psychiatrist in the morning. We have been waiting for this one for six months, and I certainly don’t want him to miss it. But the dizziness and shocks have not worn off, and so I did what I had to do, and took my anti-depressant yesterday (this is the one that is causing all of this sickness while I wean myself off of them.)
I have been taking them every three days, but still the illness has been really bad. This time was only two days apart. A backwards step, which worries me – what if I have to go through that withdrawal all over again? But I have to be able to drive.
So I got up feeling tired around 9am. At 11:30, I started doing yoga (something my counselor suggested a few days ago, to help with sleep issues – but I couldn’t do, as it caused such nausea.) I did that for a full twenty minutes, and then sat outside eating a salad for lunch.
Although it is still early February, we are getting a warm spell. While I was outside, it was just above 8 Celsius. It is supposed to go up to 15 this week, amazingly! (That is about 60 Fahrenheit for those on the imperial system.) Last year, spring began in mid-February also. I guess that has to do with the global climate change, but at this point of the year, I really appreciate it.
It was so nice, and so sunny, that I decided to stay outside and clean up my garden. Considering I have spent about the last 6 weeks lying on my couch in nausea and dizziness, that was quite the accomplishment. During that hour outside, I did not feel particularly dizzy or nauseous, and it felt really good to be out working in the sun.
I suppose that I will have to take one again tomorrow morning, as I am (in the early part of the afternoon) already starting to feel unwell again. My hope is that it will work for what I am using it for (to ease the nausea and shocking) but I know that afterward, I will have to return to taking them every three days – and after having such an improvement today, I fear it is going to be even harder to do.
Although I could technically keep on taking them every two days, as my psychiatrist suggested at my last appointment, I also know that these pills are the cause of the severe pain in my right side which I was waking up with every night, until I got down to having them three days apart. Even now, I have that back pain every night after I have taken one – so it isn’t really an option.
But for today, it was nice to have a couple of hours off of this illness that has taken over my life, and left me feeling useless and depressed all the time.