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Autism: Deciding on Change

14 May

It had to be a decision.  It isn’t like I could just not post some days.  I have a compulsion.  I have a lot of compulsions in fact, and these don’t allow me to do things differently without a lot of thought.  So, I have given this a lot of thought, and have come to the conclusion that posting to this blog six days a week is a bit much.  Not that it has gotten too much for me.  I like to read, and as I mentioned, I am compulsive.  But I have this thought that it is too much in filling other people’s inboxes.

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Plus I am afraid of running out of ideas.  It hasn’t happened yet, but it could, and I don’t want to become repetitive.  Above that, there are those days when I haven’t the energy to write.  And then again, there are those days when I actually do have energy – which I should probably use to get things done, like organizing my house.

Thoughts on those days have left me feeling anxious, for what if I don’t have enough posts scheduled for the future to cover those days?  That obsessive compulsive voice in my head would not let that go!  It would be a failure to me, and failures always result in me wanting to hide.  How could I hide, and write at the same time?

Above that, there is also vacation time in the summer – and the hope that some day, I will be able to get across the country to visit my mom.  She can’t come here.  She hasn’t the time off, and is much needed there.  I have time – but I haven’t much money, and I do have a fear of leaving my animals, and being away from home.  But I should go.  Such things might also put me behind.

But it has to be a definite decision.  I can’t, for instance, just decide to write when I feel like it, or when I have the time.  No.  That wouldn’t work for me at all.

So like a job, I have decided to post three days a week (three, because I could never work more than that without completely falling apart even at the best of times.)  And more than that, I have decided on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays – an even schedule, with the weekends off.

That will give me time to clean, or knit, or organize, or renovate, or… without interrupting my posting schedule.

Probably I won’t stick to writing on those days, but at least I have decided on a posting schedule that I believe will work for me.  The only thing is that I will likely keep writing a lot, and so some of the themes in my posts – like my one on Mother’s day – will be long gone before they are released.

But for all of that, I still think this is a good, and workable solution for me, and hope that it doesn’t cause too many issues.

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One response to “Autism: Deciding on Change

  1. kazst

    May 14, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    That makes a lot of sense. Three times a week sounds workable. I do admire your consistency. Obviously I don’t share that trait.

    Liked by 1 person

     

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