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Autism: Pajama Day

23 May

It is quarter past one in the afternoon, and here I sit, still in my pajamas. I am not exactly a ‘wear my pajamas all day’ kind of person. In fact, when I see scenes on television from psych hospitals and such, were all the patients are in their pajamas, I think, “no wonder they are depressed.” I know that isn’t the reason they are in there, just… I am sure it doesn’t help.

Not that my regular clothes look all that different from pajamas. In fact, on many occasions children have asked me why I was wearing pajamas during the day. I do need to be comfortable, for if I am uncomfortable with my clothes, I am even less able to interact with the world around me. However I have clothes that I set aside for pajamas, and others that are not.

It isn’t that I just woke up, either. This morning I got up early, and was out of my room by 7:30am. That may not be early for a lot of people, but I have sleep issues, and it is early for me. I am still not sure if that was a good time to wake up or not.

As I woke up so early, I was still feeling… stretchy. Sleepy. Cool. I didn’t want to get changed, so I put on a sweater, and went to the living room.

That time of the morning is a busy one in the kitchen, as my husband gets his breakfast and lunch, and gets ready for work. So I went on the computer to get out of the way – very conscious that I was still in my pajamas, but boy, were they comfortable!

I don’t tend to wear pajamas all day. It makes me feel tired. It makes me feel… I don’t know, not exactly clean (not that my pajamas are dirty, but that I am being “lazy” in not getting changed.) It even often leaves me feeling depressed – as if I couldn’t be bothered to dress.

It certainly pushes away any tiny desire that might have been there to visit with people. Not that people come over anyway, or that I would want that surprise if they did – but when I am in my pajamas, I most definitely don’t want to see people.

I thought maybe that I would get dressed before my son came upstairs. At my normal time. But no. I was too comfortable in my pajamas, and too tired to want to change. Of course, by then (since I was up so early and had my early computer stuff done) I had started knitting.

I only intended to do a few rounds – but I perseverate. I always perseverate. Two hours later, I was battling myself to stop so I could get my lunch, and I am kind of afraid to start again – for when will I next be able to stop myself? Oh that dangerous knitting activity!

And so here it is, afternoon, and I am still in my pajamas. I suppose I will have to change at some point – at least to take my dog out for his walk this evening. I can’t exactly go outside this way, can I?

But for now, it has started to rain, and the sky is really dark. It sure feels like a day for wearing pajamas.

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