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Autism: Doing Okay

28 Oct

Despite the rain, I have once more ‘come through it.’ It has been about three weeks of tears and pain, and I won’t say that is completely done (I still cry frequently at the thought of my dog, who died four months ago today – I don’t get over things quickly) but more that today, I was ready to do a little extra.

Actually, it likely started yesterday when I went into the basement to check for water issues (it was pouring out, and is still coming down heavy) in the basement, and stayed to vacuum up spiders, which continue to multiply in the one room. The reason we have water problems in there is because about 11.5 years ago, we had our roof replaced with a metal one (which we love) and they removed the gutters and downspouts – meaning the water is flowing too close to the house, and the drain pipes around the house are likely filled with leaves and dirt.

I kind of understand why they did that, as the snow comes down so heavy it would wreck the gutter – yet I imagine that is easier to solve than having water problems in our basement, which we didn’t notice was an issue until about 9 years later. It isn’t that it floods, but that along the edge of the wall in the one room down there, the concrete soaks up the water up to about two inches from the wall. It only happens in there because the deck, carport, and breezeway cover the rest enough to keep the water away, and on the other side, the ground slopes quite a bit away from the house.

Anyway… spiders. I hate spiders! Mostly I just want them to be relocated outside, and away from our house. I always feel guilty killing (just about) anything – spiders included (but not mosquitoes.) The ones in and around our house are huge! Wolf spiders, and others of similar size. Well, that room in recent years has become our storage, especially with the issue of crumbling concrete that overwhelms me to the point that I often fall apart after having been in there. And that is what allowed the spiders to take over, making it more and more difficult for me to go in there.

Yesterday, however, I decided to tackle the problem. I vacuumed where I could get to (I didn’t move boxes or dressers or anything) and then sprayed with mint (peppermint and wintergreen oil mixed in water) because I heard they hate it, and then sprinkled diatomaceous earth around the walls, doors, windows and such. Hopefully that will help. It wasn’t enough, but it was a lot more than I have been able to do in there in months.

Then today I decided that I needed to make reusable tissue… Kleenex… handkerchiefs… whatever. Well, really I decided that a while ago, after several loads of laundry where I was met with mess when someone forgot to take it out of a pocket. I check. Really I do, it is just… it grosses me out to put my hands in the pockets of dirty clothes. These will be for me only, but at least I will know if it happens again that it wasn’t my fault.

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Besides, nothing makes me feel better than doing things that are good for the environment, and I feel this society is far too disposable to begin with. So I cut down where I can. Sure, a box of tissue isn’t really expensive. It won’t lift us out of poverty that I use washable paper products – but it has to help some, especially with my ‘carbon footprint’ (or whatever it is called.) And that makes me feel good.

This has been something that I have wanted to do for quite some time, but is only something I actually can do when I am feeling okay – which, unfortunately, doesn’t happen often. Ironing and sewing are even tasks that I like, as long as I am the only one who will be using it (or my confidence will drop.)

I might have been a bit optimistic, though, as I cut enough cloth (fabric pieces that I had got during bag sale at the thrift store – so, new, but pretty much free) to make 60, but only had the energy to make 10. Oh well, at least the rest will be ready for the next time I have a decent day.

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