It was 6am when I heard the door to his room open. He walked down the hallway and started doing things in the kitchen: Opening and closing cupboard doors. Using the microwave. Opening the back door for the cat. Walking around. Doing things.
I tried to get back to sleep, but he was so loud.
Okay – I admit now that he wasn’t any louder than he usually is, and he is usually a pretty quiet person, but… when I am supposed to be sleeping? Everything is loud. It was loud to me, though he might not have thought so.
Anyway, once I am woken up, it is rare for me to get back to sleep. Only if there was silence – but he had things to do. Only if there was time – but it was only an hour until my girls got up, and the time went fast while I was waiting for him to stop moving.
Molly even protested when I said I was going to get up. “Too early, Mom,” she seemed to say as her eyes – heavy with sleep – closed once more.
Too early. I agree.
But I couldn’t get back to sleep, and that meant a hard day ahead.
I tried to see it from his perspective – he had somewhere he had to go before work, and so had to leave early, and so had to get ready early – but I needed that sleep.
He had to work all day – just like he did the night we picked my mom up at the airport and didn’t get home until nearly 1am (I was really tired that day, too.)
I didn’t have to work. But it still made me sick all day.
It was only one hour less of sleep, and sometimes that happens just because my medications don’t work some nights, and without them I have insomnia. It isn’t unusual for me to struggle with sleep.
Yet every time I struggle with sleep, I have a bad day the next day. It leaves me nauseous, and uncomfortable, and head-achy, and even all my muscles ache from the lack of sleep. I can’t think well. I can’t function well. I can’t even visit well (“Sorry mom!”)
I know he didn’t mean to wake me up. He probably didn’t even know he did (he rarely seems to notice that he woke me up – mostly, I assume, because once I do wake up it takes me another 30 minutes to an hour to actually get out of bed.
I also know that I often struggle with this on my own.
But it affects me so much – why doesn’t it seem to affect other people the same? I mean, sure it “catches up with them,” but with 6 hours of sleep in a night (it takes me two hours to settle in bed, reading and such, and another two to get to sleep – so it is unreasonable for me to try to get to sleep before midnight to avoid this problem) I can’t even function the next day. I am pretty sure most people don’t have that.
Since it causes such struggle, and I have enough bad days on my own, I really need to not be woken up. I have no idea how to solve that issue except to pray he sleeps longer than I do (which is unlikely, since it takes him 5 minutes to get to sleep, I can’t even start to go to sleep before him, and he doesn’t seem to need as much sleep as me.)
What to do.