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Autism: Hard To Keep Up

31 May

I must admit it has been extremely difficult for me to keep up with my blog lately.

My mom is here, and we have been visiting – but most days there has been some time during the day that I could have taken to write my blog. It isn’t that I don’t want to, or that she would be upset knowing that was what I was doing, or that I don’t have the time, or… but for me, one thing comes in, and others go out.

So my mom is here visiting, and this is the second day that I have been rushing to try to get several blog posts written in one day – because I am behind, as I was last time. Though to be fair, “behind” for me means that I am not three weeks ahead, but it still leaves me panicking and worrying that I will be late – for that is who I am.

I have to be early. The things that need to be done, I have to work on and get them out of the way (so a continuous stream of projects is very much not a good idea for me) and when something else is added to my life, other things will be left undone.

At this point in my life my blog is the longest thing I have publicly done in my entire teen and adult life. Everything else has fallen apart in this amount of time – or at least was very close to failure, with no hope of holding on. For that reason alone I am struggling with the understanding that I might not be able to keep up during the time my mom is here visiting, but I am also really pushing myself.

Today has been… I want to say a quiet day, but that isn’t actually the truth. I have been really busy, for it is Friday as I write, and Friday is my cleaning day. I cleaned bathrooms, changed the sheets on the beds, vacuumed, washed the floors, did (am still doing) laundry, and gave Molly a bath after she decided to roll in something in the freshly mowed lawn (I did clean up the yard before my son mowed, but maybe I missed something, or maybe it came from after, or…)

Then after/in between cleaning, we went for a walk. My mom is used to doing something most of the time. Since I am cleaning the house, she doesn’t have all that much to do – so we walk. We both really enjoy that. Besides, where I live is so much prettier than where she lives. Here we are surrounded by lakes and trees, and have nice trails close to my house to walk on. There it is traffic, and concrete, and old buildings.

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On top of that, we watched a movie (“Prince of Egypt”) together this afternoon.

But compared to other days, this day is quiet. We are tired. Sitting in the same room, neither of us are talking – which hasn’t been the case for the past ten days since she arrived. So with the quiet, I thought I had better try and write.

I hope I can keep it up.

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