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Autism: Time Flies

07 Jul

Well… I didn’t do so well, and that is the truth. I pushed myself, and tried, and tried again, and failed.

At least when I gave up, I was still a week ahead of ‘the end.’ They may not have been my best posts, either – since thinking wasn’t an easy thing during that time. They may not have been my best, but I do know I did my best. I guess that is supposed to help me feel better knowing that or something, but… it just is. A failure is a failure, and while I am pretty good at giving grace to others who tried (even if they failed) I am not so good at giving the same to myself.

Well the time is over, and things return to ‘normal’ I suppose. So I will try again to write, and I will try to get ahead again – and since I am mostly alone, I guess that will work.

035

Those were probably some of the fastest eight weeks I have ever experienced. It seemed so long at first, but…

Today we dropped my mom off at the airport. A little over an hour to the airport. A little over an hour back. And as I sit typing, my mom begins the 5 hour layover in Calgary. I know she made it there. 40 minutes ago. I know. I checked the flight status.

When we booked the flight, the layover was supposed to be less, and the entire flight was supposed to be earlier. But then it changed. And it changed again. And just when we thought we knew what was going on, we reached the check in kiosks and found her second flight was delayed again. I believe she was supposed to reach Ontario mid-afternoon when we first booked the flight, but now she won’t get there until after 2am!

Well, it is only a day – and we had eight weeks.

I am thankful for those eight weeks. I really am. But… like all good things, it ended too soon.

And once again I look around and wonder how I got here – and why I ever believed it was a good idea to move so far from home. And my mind can’t seem to understand. Was she really here, or was it just a dream? And if it wasn’t a dream, how is it possible she is gone now?

Time and distance. Two abstract concepts I have all but given up trying to understand, for they are well beyond me.

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