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Autism: Life Speed

22 Nov

I have been reading a book that was recommended by a friend. Though I am only about 1/3rd of the way through, and have no idea where it is going, it has brought me to think a lot.

In the book a man is given an unknown substance which causes his body to slow down. To really slow down. Something like four years passing feels like hours to him, and he is unable to register much of what is happening in the world around him.

When he began to slow down, people sounded like they were talking too fast, and their words were all strung together. People or objects would move around him in a blur. As it progressed, he couldn’t hear the words at all, and much would happen without him knowing it.

It just got me to thinking about how I have said on several occasions that the world moves too fast for me. I can’t keep up, and am easily burnt out by what is nowhere near the typical pace of people in the world around me.

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Obviously my challenge isn’t nearly as severe as the man in the story, but…

On what feels like an exceptionally busy day to me I might do 2-3 loads of laundry, vacuum and wash the floors on one level of my house (and not even all of that since one room is storage and one room has carpet that doesn’t get washed so frequently) and clean 1.5 bathrooms – and really, since I generally wash the shower when I am in there the night before, I really only clean 2 half bathrooms.

I will rinse the dishes and load them in the dishwasher, feed, take outside, and maybe walk my dogs (they won’t go out if the weather is bad.) Visit one person for 2 hours, and possibly make supper for my family, which I do 3 days a week.

That is an exceptionally busy day, and even writing it seems overwhelming to me.

I can handle a day like this maybe once every other week, and even then I often struggle to push myself through it. Afterwards I will crash for days.

The book got me to wondering if perhaps some people (like me) actually do experience the world at a different speed – and maybe that is why we are incapable of keeping up (though people who don’t understand this consider us lazy, and are certain that if we put in the effort we would not only be able to keep up, but get used to it – so not true, for me.)

The truth is that life moves too fast for me.

  • The grass grows too fast.
  • The years pass too fast.
  • The night is over too fast.
  • The house needs cleaned too often.
  • The renovations need done too often.
  • Food needs to be bought and consumed too frequently.
  • Life is just… too much – all of the time!

I am never ready for what is coming. Though I don’t work anymore, I am still overwhelmed most of the time – and when I did work, even part time, I was completely burnt out right from the beginning.

 

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