In June of 2015, at the age of 38, I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.
My psychiatrist also told me that I have a severe anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, and depression.
She has since taken me off of my job on a leave, and has told me that she doesn’t feel that I should return to working with people (especially with the public) due to my severe anxiety and sensory issues, in the future.
My counselor has also told me that I will likely never be able to work full time, even if they can get my anxiety issues stabilized.
So I turn to what I do most naturally. I write. I do not write articles for newspapers or even content mills. I feel other people are more suited to that. I can only write what I know, and that is why I have started this blog.
I love this new lifestyle. I love being home, and taking care of my animals and house, and writing. I have so much more life this way. Always before life has only been about work, and about my anxiety related to it, and how long I could hold on before I had another meltdown and failed again.
I have a full history of failures, and each one breaks my heart. It isn’t for lack of trying that I fail. It isn’t for a lack of knowledge or even effort. I fail because I cannot fit into this world, and I get so exhausted trying.
Perhaps this time will be different, and through my writing maybe I will be able to reach a world I have always felt separated from.
Please note that all poetry, pictures, and writing on this website are my own and are not to be copied without permission and credit to me. I have posted several of my poems online in the past, however, these too should be credited to me. Thank you.